I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
