if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
