We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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