Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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