i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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