I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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