Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
