My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
