new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
