I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
