I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
