all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
