It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
