You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
