so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
