So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
