I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
