Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
