I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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