is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
