it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
