You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
that's an acceptable place to lick
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
