I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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