I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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