Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
