I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
