On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
