This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
