We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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