I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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