remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You're a waste of cheezeits
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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