R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
