I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
