What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I think i got beer on your cat.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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