i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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