How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
