i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
