WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
