I should be sponsored by Trojan
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
whose ass print is on the piano?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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