i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
