Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
