We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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