Buhtt sex?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
