I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
