Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
