if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
