I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
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