he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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