we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We have started to decorate penises.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
