What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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