she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize