Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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