sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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