She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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