Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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