Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
