We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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