Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
