omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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