Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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