but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize