Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
