and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
