dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
