when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
