Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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